The Industry

     When you were young, balloons were the best thing ever and, I’m not going to lie, they are still little floating bubbles of awesome. However, when you are blowing up a bunch at a time, as I discovered today, there are some very important, unwritten rules. It’s dumb… if someone writes them down a lot less balloons would lose their stretchy/elastic lives. That’s why I’m here… as an advocate of P.E.T.I.O. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Inflatable Objects), think PETA but with even more hot air (ZING!).

Alright before you even THINK about making balloon bouquets you need to make sure you have the right equipment:

1. Certified Helium Tank with Balloon Nozzle
2. Scissors
3. Ribbon.
4. Tiny Fingers… or really agile digits.

Now that you have all the stuff you need, here is the step by step process.

1. Cut your ribbon to the desire length with your scissors, for the amount of balloons you wish to blow up.

2. Put scissors down away from you… the last thing you want is a scissor-related incident.

3. Turn helium tank to open and take a balloon and place it on the helium nozzle and gently press down (or up, depending on model) to fill the balloon. When you see the pointy bit of the balloon STOP IMMEDIATELY to prevent over-inflation, otherwise you will have an unsightly scene on your hands.

4. Tie off balloon.

5. Attach ribbon with a double knot.

6. Tie to a secure piece of furniture or let it float to a smooth ceiling, watching to avoid lights as they will cause the balloons to expand and explode.

7. When you have all the balloons filled, close the helium tank and store the tank in a dry, cool place.

8. If transporting the balloons that are already inflated, especially in the summer time, ALWAYS pre-cool the car. As balloons expand in the heat, they WILL explode as you are driving down the busiest street in Victoria, causing a mini-heart attack if you don’t take this pre-caution.  It is also a good idea to bring extra balloons, just in case.

9. Upon successful delivery, jump in the air and high five the nearest person (helpful hint: stare at their elbow, works like a charm).

There you have it! If you follow these rules, I won’t have to bring my loyal P.E.T.I.O. followers to your event and confiscate your helium tank, causing many devastated people and of course THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

Needless to say, I learned the balloon rules the hard way… and I lost a few years of my life because of it. Just some helpful hints!

-Mitch